


I Wanna Be Yours

by nightleyss



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightleyss/pseuds/nightleyss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the lead singer of Peeta's favorite band expresses a strange request, Peeta thinks it's the perfect sign to approach the girl he has been eyeing for the whole night. But will Katniss be able to live up to Peeta's imagination, or are her devils too much to handle for the both of them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, welcome to my first fanfiction! First things first, some time ago I wrote this one shot and it just didn't let me go so I decided to make a whole fanfic out of it. Basically the first chapter is the one shot I've posted, just slightly longer and more detailed/edited and in either Katniss' or Peeta's pov. I don't know yet how long this is going to be or how exactly it will end, but I'm really looking forward to go on this journey!  
> I hope y'all enjoy it and don't forget to leave me some feedback!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

 

 

 

**Peeta’s pov**

 

When song changed for the 5th time I noticed that I must have been staring at her for longer than 15 minutes and a blush crept on my face. There was something special about that girl, something I couldn’t wrap my mind around, but she fascinated me and I couldn’t tear my attention away from her.

The way she was lightly swaying to the music, the constant smile that was plastered on her face and the spark in her eyes that appeared every time a new verse began.

I couldn’t hear her over the noise of our surroundings, but I could make out the movements of her delicate mouth and I figured she was singing. She hadn’t caught my eye immediately, but when I finally noticed her I was instantly captivated. Not because she was only beautiful, but as radiant as the sun.

Her long brown hair flowed in graceful waves down her back and her tight tank top and skinny jeans fit her like a second skin. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her. Deep down I kind of hated myself for not paying too much attention to the music, after all I’ve spent a shitload amount of money to finally see the Arctic Monkeys live, but on the other hand wasn’t able to care about anything else but her.

The moment I started forming a plan in my head for a way to get to know her, I felt someone bumping into me and caught Finnick staring questioningly at me, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. As I pointed my thumb in the girl’s direction and shrugged my shoulders his face immediately lit up and he winked at me before getting back to Annie and enveloping her into his arms.

After 5 more minutes of me staring at her and trying to gain the courage to go over, the music suddenly broke off and Glyn cleared his throat on stage. “Hey guys, our next song will be ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ and I know a lot of you have already been waiting for this. So this is your chance, during the song I want you all to grab your partner, best friend, wife or even some stranger and kiss them. Everyone enjoys a nice kiss, so don’t be shy and seize the chance!” he winked and cleared his throat once, before the music of the all too familiar song started filling the room.

I was still in complete shock. It was like he had looked into my mind and presented me the perfect excuse to approach her without embarrassing myself too much. But what if she had a boyfriend? Of course I couldn’t have known, but I really wasn’t that eager to get a beating from some stranger who was most likely two times taller than me.

All around me people where kissing and hugging and I once again felt that stupid ache in my heart which cursed me for never being brave enough to do something about it.  
And in this moment I decided to just blow all concerns in the wind and started making my way over to her, not stopping until I was just a few steps away. When she noticed me she gave me a small smile and her grey eyes met my blues ones. I sucked in my breath. I never was the one to believe in love at first sight, but it was like the world suddenly stopped around us and the only two people left on earth were us, captured in this particular moment.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything so I just took her hand in mine and intertwined our fingers, pulling her closer to me. She instantly adverted her eyes to the ground, but I could clearly make out the blush that was creeping on her face. I took a deep breath and her scent filled my mind. She smelled heavenly, like pine needles and a hint of flowers, mixed with a deep aroma of the woods. When she finally looked up, it was all that took it for me to crush her chest against mine completely. I could feel her heart beating against mine and I was afraid that any moment she was going to slap me for being that forward, but all she did was continue to stare into my eyes.

With that, I finally crashed my lips against hers. They were round and soft, and felt just as delicious as they looked. At first she stiffened against me, but soon after her body relaxed, our bodies melted together perfectly and a soft sigh escaped her lips. I traced her bottom lip with my tongue and her lips parted, giving me access to explore her mouth further. She tasted like chewing gum and spring and it oddly matched perfectly with her appearance. A groan escaped my throat when she run her tongue over mine and her arms slipped around my head, playing with the soft curls at the nape of my neck. I cupped my hands over the sides of her head to keep her steady against me and I felt like I was floating. My head was spinning like crazy, but it was so good and the moment was just perfect. I don’t know for how long we remained like that, but I was determined to draw it out for as long as possible.

After sucking my tongue into her mouth one last time, she pulled away from me and rested her head on my shoulder. I was desperate to look into her eyes, but right now I was content with staying like that. With the sounds of “Mad Sounds” floating in the background and a beautiful girl pressed against my body I felt like the luckiest man of the world. Her breaths gazed my ear and a shudder ran down my spine, making goose pumps appear on my arms. “My name’s Katniss by the way.” A quiet laughter rumbled through my chest. “Peeta.”

She pulled her head away from my shoulder and turned facing me. “You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, Peeta.”

I broke out into a huge grin. “Well, I got them from my dad.”

Suddenly, Katniss slowly pulled her arms away from me and let them tangle awkwardly besides her body. “So…”

“Yeah, uh, I’m sorry about that.” I cleared my throat “It’s just that I’ve had my eye on you for the whole evening and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to… you know.” I gestured widely and couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes so I just stared at the stage.

Somewhere in front of it, I could make out Finnick waving at me furiously but I ignored him too.

I startled when I felt someone touched my face, but instantly relaxed when I noticed it was her. She took my face in her hands and turned it back in her direction. “If you didn’t notice, I enjoyed it very much too. I just meant that shouldn’t you be asking me out to dinner or something?”

A rush if excitement surged through me and a laugh escaped me. “Wouldn’t that be kind of backwards, huh?”

Her grey eyes locked onto mine and she traced her thumb over my lips. “Dumbass. I would really like to go out with you, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

A nervous chuckle escaped my lips as she quirked an eyebrow at me like she was waiting for something.

“So, uh, right now?” I slid both of my arms around her, desperate for some contact between us.

“Yes Peeta, right now.” Before I got the chance to answer, she continued “What do you say to In-Out-Burger? I’m craving some decent fries.” She gave me a small smile and that beloved spark in her eyes appeared once again.

“Let me just tell my friends okay?” I pointed over to where Finnick and Annie were standing. “And don’t run away, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Before I could let go of her entirely, she pressed a quick kiss on my mouth and immediately turned bright red before turning away from me. I smirked and put one finger under her chin to make her look at me. “Remember, don’t ever be ashamed for wanting to do that.”

-

“Don’t tell me you really said that to her?” I burst out laughing, struggling to hold the wine glass steady in my hand instead of spilling it all over her carpet.

A blush crept on her face and she broke out into a mischievous grin. “I did and she was so pissed at me after that, especially because I said it in front of her friends. But was what I supposed to do? I’m her sister for god’s sake!”

She got up to pour herself another glass of wine and I took the moment to think about the last few hours. After dinner, we somehow we ended up back at her apartment and after already emptying 2 bottles of wine we were currently sitting on the floor with her as close to me as possible, but I didn’t mind one bit.

Practically we had already been past that, but I still felt shy when I reached over to take her hand in mine just as she was sitting back down.

I ran my thumb over her knuckles. “Prim sounds like a fantastic young woman, thanks to you.”

“Yeah, she’s amazing and I really love her.” There was a smile sitting on her face, but I also didn’t miss the hint of sadness crossing her eyes.

“Hey, she’s not out of the world. Just at college getting the best education she could, and you are the one who made that possible for her.” I let go of her hand and reached out to her, letting my thumb caress her cheek. We were so close right now that I would have been able to count every single freckle on her face if I wanted to. She was simply stunning.

“Can I… uh, kiss you?” I know it was quite a stupid question to ask after our former make out session, but it just felt like the right thing to do.

She moved her face even closer to mine, our noses touching, and her voice came out as nothing more than a horse whisper. “Yes Peeta, you can.”

That’s everything it took me for me to close the distance between us. It was different this time, more slow and intense and we were taking our time exploring each other’s mouths carefully, but that didn’t make it any less wonderful. I probably would never get tired of kissing her.

This time, I was the first one to pull away first, needing to come up for air. When her eyes met mine a beautiful smile grazed her lips.

I moved to pull her into my lap, tightened my arms around her and she rested her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what it is about you, but you are something special Katniss.  
You’re wonderful and I hope this doesn’t end when the sun comes up today.”

She sighed and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. “Peeta, I don’t know if I can give you what you want. We’ve known each other for only such a short period of time and there is so much I haven’t told you yet. Things I’m not even sure I want to burden you with.”

I was already able to feel her slipping away from me and it hurt me that she thought she couldn’t trust me. True, we had known each other for less than a day, but nobody expected her to open up to me so soon, I just wanted her to give me a chance. Hell, even I had things I had never told anyone before, but with her I felt like she could turn out to be the person I could finally trust.

“I don’t expect you to tell me anything, Katniss. But except from the fact that you love your sister and had to care for her since you were 14 I don’t know anything about you. Not even your favorite color!”

An amused chuckle escaped her and I was relieved that the tension between us seemed to vanish again. “Green, like the forest. I love being out there with my bow.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Bow! Look, that’s exactly what we have to tell each other. The deep stuff!” I couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin.

Katniss put her arms around my neck to hide her head in the crook of it. The muffled sound of her voice made me laugh. “You’re stupid.” She was clearly joking so I pulled her body closer to mine.

“Look, we don’t have to rush into things. Let me take you out on a proper date, please.” I was determined to make this work and didn’t even notice her hand which was slowly running through my hair.

“I’d like that. Maybe we can start off as friends.” I rush of sadness ran through me but I was going to take every little thing she was willing to offer me.

Still, I raised an eyebrow at her. “Friends?”

Her cheeks reddened. “Well, friends who like to kiss, I guess?”

“I like the sound of that.” And again I captured her lips with mine, dreading the moment when I would have to let go of her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the lead singer of Peeta's favorite band expresses a strange request, Peeta thinks it's the perfect sign to approach the girl he has been eyeing for the whole night. But will Katniss be able to live up to Peeta's imagination, or are her devils too much to handle for the both of them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say a quick thank you for everyone who subscribed, left kudos or bookmarked my story. I honestly didn't think that anyone would read it at all and it makes me really happy to see that there are people who are willing to go with me on this journey!  
> I hope you all also enjoy this chapter, leave me some feedback! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

****

 

**Katniss’ pov**

 

 **8:06am Peeta:** I had a wonderful night, thank you for that.

 **2:45pm Peeta:** Hello stranger ;) How’s your day?

 **3:58pm Peeta:** Katniss?

 **10:33pm Peeta:** Did I do something wrong to piss you off?

 **9:10am Peeta:** I guess that’s a clear sign for me to leave you alone then.

 **11:01pm Peeta:** Kay.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as soon as I read the last message. It had been 4 days since that night with Peeta and I knew that with every day I kept on ignoring him I drove him even further away even though that was the last thing I really wanted to do.

I couldn’t remember a time when I had so much fun with someone other than Prim or Jo, not counting the early days of my relationship with Gale or my dad. There was just something special about Peeta and it made me want to open up to him completely, to finally tell somebody what I had kept to myself for all those years, but that was exactly what made me keep my distance from him.

How could someone I haven’t even know for a week make me feel that way? It scared the crap out of me and I just didn’t know how to react, without messing anything up. Everything in me screamed to finally call him and apologize for ignoring him like that, but if I did, where could it lead? Where would I want it to lead?

Another heavy sign escaped me and I could see Johanna staring at me out of the corner of my eye. An amused smile was playing on her lips and I honestly started regretting that I decided to tell her about Peeta.

I shot a dirty look in her direction. “What?”

“Nothing, you’ve just been staring at your phone like a maniac and sighing every 2 minutes. No big deal at all,” she said and raised her eyebrows at me.

A scowl appeared on my face. “Shut up, Jo.”

Startling me, she suddenly got up and walked over to where I was sitting, snatching the phone out of my hand before I even got any time to react. “Hey! Give that back!”

Without even looking at me, she started scrolling down my messages and I only watched in horror as a smile appeared on her face. This couldn’t be good at all. A chuckle escaped her before she said. “Look, that’s exactly why I call you brainless. That boy is way too good for you, so get over yourself and save him from his misery.”

She knew I hated it when she called me that but I opted not to call her out on it. “I don’t even know what to say. Sorry that I’m a coward? Sorry that I’m such a fucked up mess that I can’t even give you a chance without panicking completely?”

As soon as she noticed the anger and sadness in my voice her face softened and she gave me my phone back before sitting down on the couch beside me. She took my hand in hers. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her, but the sincerity in her voice was clearly audible. “You, Katniss Everdeen, are and incredible young woman. You are just not giving yourself enough credit for all the things you did. He would be lucky to have you, no matter what that bastard Ga-“ I immediately clamped my hand over her mouth to shut her up and shook my head persistently.

“Don’t, you know the rule of never mentioning his name ever again.” An apologetic look crossed her face and I took my hand away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think. But really, answer him. From what you have told me so far, he could make you really happy. In which way whatever,” she said and winked at me.

I looked over at my best friend and relief washed over me. Not many people knew this side of Johanna Mason and it was tons of work I had to do to earn it, but as soon as she decided to let you in, there is no one better to call you out on your bullshit or to ask for advice.

“You’re right. But I still don’t know what to write.”

A huge smile appeared on her face. “What about ‘hey, I’m sorry I’m a dickhead, let’s start over again?”

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpk

The sound of my alarm startled me awake and I immediately started to panic when I noticed that I had overslept. The alarm was only supposed to wake me if I happened to sleep longer than the planned two hours of my afternoon nap before Peeta was supposed to come over.

Looking at my watch, I realized that I had barely 15 minutes left to shower and get ready so I jumped out of bed and started making my way into the bathroom, starting to pull off my clothes before the door even had any chance of closing fully behind me. From the distance I could make out Johanna shouting something that sounded dangerously close to something like “asshole” and a quick chuckle escaped me.

I was just about to put on my jeans when the sound of the doorbell rang through the apartment and I could hear Jo heading in its direction to open it. I cursed under my breath, not because I didn’t want her to meet him, but just because I didn’t need her to scare him off yet if this was supposed to go anywhere.

After looking at my reflection one last time I threw my door open and prepared myself for facing Peeta for the first time in 2 weeks. After my talk with Johanna, I was finally able to call him but both of our schedules last week had kept us too busy to meet up any time before today.

I felt a rush of sadness washing over me because instead of being greeted by the blond haired and blue eyed baker I expected, Jo stood in front of me with a pizza cartoon in her hand and shrugged her shoulders. “You shouldn’t have put that much effort in just meeting the pizza delivery guy, jesus Kat.” She said before stalking off into the living room’s direction.

I scowled in her direction and slammed my bedroom door behind me. Where was he? I knew he was basically only 5 minutes late, but he just didn’t seem like the guy to keep people waiting.

When he passed the 15 minute mark of being late I started worrying about him. Could something have happened during his drive to my apartment or did he just decide not to show up at all because he realized how fucked up I really was?

I had been so occupied with my thoughts that it took me some time to notice the strange noise against my window. Firstly I thought I must have imagined it, but as the seconds passed it just got louder and more persistent. Walking over to my window my heart nearly stopped when I was able to make out Peeta’s silhouette standing on the lawn in front of my building. After a few seconds of shock, my face broke out into a huge smile and I pulled it open.

“You are insane, aren’t you?” I could see him smiling his megawatt smile and my stomach immediately started doing flips.

He crooked his head to the side and smirked. “Sorry I’m late, but I had to figure out which window was yours. Wouldn’t want to stumble upon your crazy roommate, huh?”

A laugh escaped me and I immediately clapped my hands on my mouth. “She’s not crazy, just special. And you still didn’t answer my question. What are you doing?”

“I think I read somewhere that people think of it as a romantic gesture?” His face turned pink.

“Come up you idiot, I don’t want us to have to shout at each other for the rest of the evening.” I shouted down to him before shutting the window.

Not being able to wait for him to ring our doorbell, I immediately made my way over to our door and leaned against the doorframe. A smile appeared on my lips as soon as I could hear him descending the stairs. The sound of his steps reassuring me that he was really planning on giving me a chance.

When Peeta finally appeared on the top of the stairs and spotted me, a huge smile took over his face and before he even gave me the chance to say or do anything, I got crushed against his chest. His body against mine made my heart start beating rapidly and when he placed his head in the crook of my neck, I started relaxing again. Because this was Peeta, and no matter how brief we have only known each other so far, he was steady against me and oddly familiar.

It took Jo clearing her throat from somewhere behind us to finally let go of each other and the look on her face told me that she definitely didn’t miss Peeta’s hand which was still hesitantly resting on my hip.

“So you’re the mysterious guy, huh? Looks like trouble to me,” she said and crooked one eyebrow at him.

I instantly felt Peeta stiffen beside me, but before I could tell her to shut up the smile on his face was present again and he told her “So I guess you are the crazy roommate Katniss told me to stay away from then?” The shocked expression on her face was utterly amusing, but Peeta just kept on talking, “You don’t look like anything I wouldn’t be able to handle.”

I was sure that Jo would stomp off angrily any minute now, but to my relief she shot a huge smile in Peeta’s direction and then at me. “I like him, Katniss. Keep Blondie around!” With that she vanished in our apartment, followed by the sound of her slamming her bedroom door a few seconds later.

Throwing me completely off guard, Peeta didn’t miss a beat and pecked my lips really quickly and I could feel the heat rushing into my face. “So, I got the no high heels thing covered,” I wiggled my right feet to show him the black chucks I was wearing “Can you tell me now where you are taking me? Please?” I tried to give him what I hoped to be a somewhat adorable puppy look, but he just took my hand and starting leading me down the stairs.

“Nope. Oh, and you are lucky you are just living on the 2nd floor, this no elevator thing is a pain in my ass!”

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp

“Peeta! I swear to god, if we are going to some weird cliché horse riding on the beach thing I’m going to kill you!” I sincerely hoped that it wasn’t what he had in mind, but it was the only thing I could think of where high heels would have been fairly unnecessary. Not that I wasn’t thankful for it, those things were the stuff my worst nightmares were made of.

He chuckled and I could feel the vibration of his body on my skin because we were so close to each other. “Relax, Katniss. We will be there in a few seconds.”

I huffed but decided to stay silent. We kept on walking for a few minutes and when Peeta finally removed his hands from my eyes I was momentarily blinded by the brightness of being outside. When my eyes finally got used to it I sucked in my breath. Unfolding in front of me was the most beautiful meadow I had ever seen, overgrown with all kinds of wild flowers and grass. I didn’t notice that I had begun crying until Peeta hugged me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. “I sincerely hope those are tears of joy.”

I turned around to be able to look at his face and when my eyes caught his I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. Nobody had ever done something like this before and I seriously had trouble imagining that I would be worth all of that.

I hadn’t realized that I had said all of that out loud until Peeta whispered, “You are, every single thing I had to do to make this happen was worth it.” His blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. I pressed my lips against his.

After Peeta produced a picnic basket and a self-inflating mattress from out of his trunk we spread it in the middle of the meadow. There were a bunch of dandelions growing near us and I picked one up and studied it up close. Up until now, I’ve always thought of it as some useless weed but Peeta explained to me that it represented a symbol of hope for him. A sad expression crept on his face and I decided not to ask any further.

Somewhere in between eating those delicious sandwiches and cheese buns Peeta brought with him from the bakery, I somehow ended up in his lap and with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. He let go of my mouth briefly and whispered. “You are so beautiful Katniss, I think you don’t know the effect you can have.”

I could feel myself starting to blush and slanted my lips over his again. I was glad that we had long left behind the awkward and shy pecks, because the feeling of Peeta’s tongue massaging mine and exploring my mouth made me come alive with desire for him. I hadn’t felt this hunger in a long time, but with Peeta it was like I didn’t have a single care in the world. 

The growing hardness in his pants was suddenly brushing against my core and a moan escaped me. Urged on by my actions, Peeta pressed himself closer to my body and let his hands wander under the fabric of my blouse. Goose bumps spread all over the flesh he touched with his fingers and when they finally found the hem of my bra, I took his hands in mine and placed them on the clasp of it.

Without struggling that much to open it, its fabric fell from my shoulders and he eagerly palmed my naked breasts with his hands. When he caught one of my nipples between his thumb and index finger, I had to bite down hard on his shoulder not to cry out loud but I still couldn’t stop an embarrassing growl from escaping my lips.

He was just about to enclose the other nipple with his lips when the image of Gale’s face flashed through my mind. I saw him as he bit down hard, making me cry out in pain instead of ecstasy and as often as I told him to stop, he just kept on hurting me with that gruesome look on his face.

A gasp escaped me and I immediately started pushing Peeta away from me with all the strength I was able to muster. At first, he didn’t seem to notice but when my grip on his arm got tighter he finally pulled away and shot me a confused look. “I’m sorry, I just thought you wanted it too?”

Tears sprung into my eyes when I looked at him. It wasn’t his fault. He had been the perfect gentleman so far and had waited for me to make the first move without initiating anything himself. And as much as I had enjoyed our previous actions, I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready to take that step with everything that has happened in the past with Gale. And I had no idea if I would ever be able go there with Peeta.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly terribly sorry for the long wait! I just had a lot to do in school and my private life wasn't the easiest either. I hope there are still some people left who are willing to continue the trip of this story with me. And also, happy Mockingjay release weekend!  
> I hope you all also enjoy this chapter, leave me some feedback!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

**_Peeta’s pov_ **

 

To say that the drive home was awkward would be an understatement. The whole time, Katniss refused to speak or even acknoledge me and I just had no idea what to do. The one time I tried to say something, she immediately managed to shut me up with one deadly glare into my direction so I opted to stay silent.

But when silent tears started streaming down her face I just couldn’t hold myself back anymore. The way she flinched when I reached over to cover her hand with mine made my heart ache, but I was glad that she didn’t take it away completely.

After a few more minutes of silence, I finally found the courage to say something. “You have to know that I’m under no circumstances angry at you or anything. It just kind of hurt, you know?” She didn’t even bother looking at me so I just continued rambling. “And confused. You know that you can talk to me about anything. I won’t judge you.”

Out of the corner of my eye I was able to see her looking at me, but I forced myself to concentrate on the road ahead. Her voice was hoarse and barely a whisper when she finally replied. “Just take me home Peeta. I’m so tired.” Another tear started making its way down her cheek.

Apart from the occasional sniffle coming from her direction the rest of the ride was filled with dead silence between the two of us.

When we arrived back at her apartement complex I was determined not to leave until I was certain that she was safely tucked into her bed. And despite all her protests, I didn’t give in this time around.

Immediately after entering the apartment, it only took Johanna to take one good look at the state Katniss was in to instantly pin me against the kitchen wall. “What have you done, blondie?” Her voice was full or anger.

As I looked over her shoulder beg for Katniss’ help, everything I saw was her closed bedroom door. My shoulders slumped and I looked back at Jo. I guess I deserved being threated that way. “Go on, shout at me as much as you want. Whatever it is I did, I’m pretty sure I deserve it.” The defeated tone on my voice made her raise her eyebrows at me. “What do you mean?”

A sigh escaped me. “I don’t know what I did okay?!” It came out louder than I expected it to and an apologetic look crossed my face. “One moment she was practically tearing off my clothes and in the next one she burst out into tears.” Tears started pooling in my eyes and I looked away, not wanting Johanna to see how bad I felt about the whole situation.

Without another word she shook her head, took me by the hand and led me out the front door. After closing it, she returned her attention back at me. “You need to leave, Peeta.” It was the first time I heard her use my actual name, and not some stupid nickname. “Leave, and don’t call her for a few days. Wait until she reaches out to you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I just turned around to go, but Johanna wouldn’t have any of that and swiftly caught my ellbow, causing me to stop. “It’s not your fault, okay? But please be patient with her, fuck, just be patient.”

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp

The next week was spent with throwing myself into work and trying my hardest not to think about what had happened with Katniss. I still couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong, but after another had week passed in which she had made no effort to contact me in any way, I just started convincing myself that we just weren’t meant to be.

Just when I was about to drown my self pity in beer and pizza, a sharp knock on my apartment door brought me back to reality. Without expecting anything special I started making my way over to the door and threw it open, not bothering to check who was on the other side first.

Nothing could have prepared me for seeing Katniss standing in front of me. It wasn’t just the fact that she hadn’t talked to me in two weeks, but also that I had absolutely no idea she actually knew where I lived, let alone that I had apparently told her before.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, so I just kept staring at her like an idot. When she cleared her throat after a few seconds I finally managed to snap out of it and waved her in. She took a seat on my couch and I was still staring at her dumbfoundedly. “Uhm, hello?” I immediately felt incredibly stupid for not coming up with something better to say.

A huge smile appeared on her face and my head started swimming. How could she be sitting here in my appartment, smiling and acting like nothing had happened? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. But at the same time I wasn’t able to keep my gaze off her. She looked amazing. Her hair was down and she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans paired with a white tank top which gave me a fantastic view of her cleavage.

“Hello Peeta.” A shudder ran down my spine at the sound of her voice.

She didn’t even give me the chance to reply, because suddenly she was standing up and took her place in front of me. We were so incredibly close that I could smell her perfume and it made me feel even more dizzy. I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything else than her body so close to mine and the heat radiating off her.

I was still trying to figure out what to say when I suddenly felt her lips on mine. At first, I wanted to protest and demmand what the hell she was doing here after ignoring me for weeks, but the feeling of her lips against mine was like toxic and I couldn’t help but give in. When she melted against me, I threw my arms around her waist to puller her even closer to me. A loud groan, which made my dick twitch, escaped her.

Soon we were both lying on my couch, with her on top of me, and she was once again franatically tearing on my clothes. Just as she was about to slide down my sweatpants I cought her wrist with my hand and forced her to look at me. “What are you doing?” I tried to hide the tremble in my voice, but the smirk on Katniss’ lips told me that it wasn’t working.

Her voice was almost like a purr when she answered me. “Trust me, Peeta. I want this.”

All the while she kept running her hand over the bulge of my pants and a half cry-half moan escaped me. I couldn’t help but give into her actions. A smirk appeared on her face and relief flodded over me when she finally continued pulling down my pants. After I helped her kicking them off completely, she immediately returned to her place between my legs and started sliding her hand into my boxer shorts.

When her hand closed around my erection a yelp escaped me. “Hmmm, a little eager aren’t we Peeta?” My tongue felt like sandpaper and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the words to leave my mouth.

She kept working her hand up and down my member and I had to stop her from finishing me off completely because the urge to feel her around me was completely overwhelming. When she finally let go off me it was my turn to undress her. Seeing her naked in front of me just turned me on even more. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to have that affect on me.

The urge to explore her entire body was immense, but when I finally plunged my fingers into her wetness I knew that it had to wait for later. I didn’t waste any more time on foreplay and as soon as I thrust into her I knew I was home.

She locked both her legs behind my waist and her walls started clenching around my dick as I kept on thrusting into her again and again. I nearly lost it at the sight of her sneaking her hand between the both of us to rub her clit, but instead it pulled her hand away, determined to finish her off all by myself.

I was sure that my neighbour would fill a complain against me, but when we both started crying out at the same time it felt like I had not a single problem in the world. All I cared about was the girl in my arms.

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Waking up to her naked body pressed against my own must have been the most blissful feeling of my entire life. She was still asleep so I was able to study her freely. Katniss was truly beautiful and definitely not that kind which required tons of make up to be labeled as such.

On one hand I couldn’t wait for her to wake up and to see her stunning smile, but what if she regretted what we did last night? What If she would freak out like the last time we came close to having sex? I had no idea if I could bear it if she would shut my out again like she did for the past two weeks.

Thinking about it, I kind of started to regret what we did. It just hadn’t been right to take advantage of her like that after not speaking to each other for two weeks. We should have sat down to talk, and not to fuck like some crazy animals. Even though I had to admit that what we had last night was the best sex I’ve had so far, I wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk of losing her again.

I could finally feel Kantiss starting to steer beside me and a smile crept on my face. It took her a while to wake up completely, but when she opened her eyes to look at me my heart skipped a beat. “’Morning” her voice was wonderfully raspy and thick with sleep.

Before I could stop myself, I placed a chaste kiss on her lips. My cheeks immediately started turning pink. “Sorry,” I wasn’t able to bring myself to meet her eyes “is that okay? Are we okay?”

She didn’t answer immediately, but the smile which was still playing on her lips told me she couldn’t be too pissed off. A shudder ran down my spine when she threw her arms around my neck and placed a kiss against my collarbone. “Hmmm yes,” she kept pressing her nose into the crook of my neck, “more than okay.”

I tightened my grip around her waist and a surprised yelp left her mouth when my morning erection brushed against her center. “I’m sorry.” I blushed again. “How does breakfast sound to you?”

A sheepish smile appeared on her face. “Sounds perfect. But not quite like you imagine it.”

In one fluid motion she wasn’t by my side anymore but instead with her face between my legs. “Good morning, Peeta.”

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After Katniss’ disastrous attempt at making pancakes which ended with some scrambled eggs we managed to put together, we finally curled up on the couch, still clad in our pajamas. After a few minutes of silence between the two of us I finally found the guts to ask what I was dying to. “What are we now, Katniss?” Her hand which had been tracing patterns on my stomach instantly stopped and I could feel her tense up beside me.

Her voice was impossibly small when she answered me and it seemed like the overly confident version of her from last night had finally been replaced by the Katniss I had gotten to know all those weeks ago. “I don’t know.” The hesitation in her voice was clearly audible. “What could you possibly get out of this? I’m damaged goods.”

Katniss’ words broke my heart. I had no idea she felt that way about herself, or about our relationship. Did she really think I wasn’t able to see what an amazing person she was?

I couldn’t stand the distance in her voice so I turned my body to face her completely. “You listen to me now. I know you have been hurt in the past, we all have. But you are amazing Katniss and everyone who isn’t able to see that doesn’t deserve you. And I hope that someday you can let me in and tell me what happened to you. I just want you to know that I’m willing to be there for you, for as long as you will have me.”

A few tears started making their way down her cheeks and I reached up to swipe them away. When I tried to pull my hand away, she caught it in hers and kept in pressed against the side of her face. “What have you done to me?” her voice was barely more than a whisper.

I leaned my forehead against hers. “I feel like I barely know you at all, but on the other hand I have never been more attracted to someone before, not just physically.” Our faces were merely inches apart, but nobody made a move to close the distance between us. We both knew that it wasn’t what we needed right now.

“I know Peeta,” a steady flow of tears kept streaming down her face “I’m trying, I’m trying so hard to be the woman you imagine me to be.”

A wave of anger suddenly washed over me. Was that really what she thought of me?

I placed my hands on either side of her face and angled it the way she was forced to look at me. “Listen to me carefully right now. I think you are a really strong woman, amazingly strong, but that doesn’t mean you can’t carry any burdens. We all have them. Hell, I do have more than any guy my age should have. But I want to learn to love your flaws, if you let me that is.” I didn’t intend for the last part to come out, but the look on her face told me that it was good I had said it. She needed to hear it.

“Do you really think I’m worth it? Going through all of this?”

“Yes, definitely. There’s no doubt.” A small smile crept on her face at my immediate answer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! And sorry for the long delay, I really wanted to update before Christmas but it was just so stressful that I didn't get to it. I hope there are still a few of you who are interested in the story and I hope you're going to leave me some feetback and what you think about it!   
> Happy Reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

 

**_Katniss’ pov_ **

The past few days could have easily passed as the worst of my life and there is no one else but me to blame. As soon as I left Peeta’s apartment that morning, everything came crashing down on me. There was no denying that I did go over to his with the clear intention to have sex with him and nothing more, because at that time I was so feed up with myself and just wanted to get over with it already.

Peeta meant so much to me and I hurt him in the worst way possible. It wasn’t just that I totally freaked out the last time we saw each other, it was that I basically ignored him for the better of 3 weeks for no reason other than I was a fucking coward.

Then when Jo had told me to finally get my shit together and apologize to him, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I knew that I had to get over my fear sooner or later and that’s when I thought it would be a good idea to sleep with Peeta.

It was, hands down, the best sex I’ve ever head, even compared to my early days with Gale, and during the whole act Peeta was the most charming, considerate and incredibly skilled person one could wish for. Which only made it worse for me because now here I was, ignoring him once again.

I hadn’t seen him in nearly a month and with every day that passed, I only felt worse about the whole situation. It was safe to say that I was a complete asshole, and even Johanna told me so. I basically took advantage of him and now he probably thought that I don’t want to see him again. Or that what we had was bad for me.

But the truth was that I really missed him. I missed him so much that I sometimes wondered how someone could have an effect like that on me, but every time I caught myself reaching for my phone to call him, something caused me to hesitate. Every time I thought about that night a warm and fuzzy feeling cursed through me, but then my head got the best of me. What if he would turn out to be like Gale? Ultimately, I didn’t even know him _that_ well.

But if Peeta was one thing it was persistent. Over all the past weeks there wasn’t one day were I didn’t get at least one voicemail or message from him. There was a wide variety from him telling me that he missed me, telling me that we could work things out if I would just talk to him to basically calling things off between us just to apologize a few hours later.

And now that I was actually trapped in my bed with the flu I had even more time to think it all through. I was aware of the fact that I had to call Peeta at some point, I just didn’t know how to approach him after all these weeks without any kind of contact between the two of us.

Just as I was about to reach over for my phone once again, another wave of nausea came over me and I rushed out of bed and into my bathroom, barely making it in time to the toilet.

As I heard footsteps behind me and someone clearing his throat a groan escaped me. I knew that I should go to the doctor, and I certainly didn’t need Jo to tell me that yet again.

After washing my hands and brushing my teeth for what had to be the 5th time today, I started making my way back into my bedroom, but not without shooting a frown in Johanna’s direction. “Never before have I gone to the doctor because of a stupid flu. You know how much I hate taking medicine.”

She followed me into bed, but I instantly turned away from her. “What are you doing? I don’t think it would do any good if you would get sick too.”

Johanna burst out laughing and I raised my eyebrows at her and asked. “What’s your problem?”

When she saw the look at my face she immediately got serious again and took my hand in hers. “You are really brainless, aren’t you?” I just kept in staring at her dumbfounded. “Come on, you can’t tell me you still haven’t figured out what’s going on with you, it’s obvious!”

I snorted, took my hand away and pulled the comforter over the top of my head. “Yeah, of course.”

Suddenly the blanket was torn away from me and Jo’s voice hit me like a thunderstorm. “I hate breaking it to you, but ever since you had sex with Peeta,” I couldn’t help but wince at that “you have been totally over the top. One day you stuff tons of junk food in your body and the next you barely eat anything. And now you are throwing up like a madman. Not even you can be that stupid not to notice what’s going on!”

She didn’t even give me the chance to say anything, but instead got up and went into her room. As soon as she was gone my thoughts started racing. Could she be right? Could I really be… pregnant? Already the thought of it caused a shiver to run down my spine. No, it couldn’t be true. I would never be able to bring a child into this fucked up life, let alone-

A loud noise on the bedside table pulled me back into the present and my mouth fell open when I spotted the objects which were lying there. 3 pregnancy tests in all of their glory. I felt like throwing up again.

I looked up at Jo who was staring at me with an angry expression. “You can’t be serious?”

“Well, if you are that sure, why don’t you just take them to proof to me that you aren’t pregnant huh?” and with that she was already out of my room and slamming the door behind her.

I kept telling myself that this certainly couldn’t be true, but when I stared down at the tests 30 minutes later I felt like my life was over. I never planned for this, not after what had happened with Gale. And even though Peeta was one of the best things that have happened to me lately, I didn’t want that. How could I? How could I bring a child into my fucked up life?

Without even realizing what I was doing, I started stuffing things into my purse and getting dressed in something else than my pajamas. And not even 15 minutes later I was standing in front of Peeta’s apartment. With 3 pregnancy tests in one hand and an apology for fucking up his life in the other.

Until now, I had kind of managed to hold myself together, but when I pressed his door bell and nobody answered I finally let the tears overtake me. When I left home I hadn’t even bothered to check the time, but considering it was barely noon at a Wednesday Peeta was most likely still at work.

I couldn’t help but feel incredibly angry at myself. Not only would I ruin my future but also Peeta’s. How could I do this to him? All he ever wanted was to see me happy.

I suddenly started to panic and picked my purse up from the ground, determined to get out of here as quickly as possible. I would not ruin Peeta’s future, even if that meant never getting to see him again, or telling him about my pregnancy.

Just as I was about to push the elevator’s button, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and pull me against a strong body. Even without turning around I immediately knew that it was Peeta, his peculiar scent gave him away every time.

Once again, tears started flooding my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from falling when I turned around to face him. His cheerful look immediately turned into a concerned one when he saw the state I was in. Without saying anything, he took my hand and led me into his apartment and directly into his bedroom. My heart clenched involuntarily when Peeta took off my shoes and put me onto his bed, laying down beside me.

There was a long period of silence between us until he finally broke it. “I saw the tests in your hand. And I don’t care.” Fear instantly crashed over me and I got off the bed, struggling to get on my shoes, but before I had the chance to do so his arms where there to pull me onto the bed once again. “God dammit Katniss, not like that. I meant that I don’t care that we barely know each other, that we are both still so young. Or whatever it is that you are telling yourself right now. I’ll stay with you, I’ll always be by your side, if you let me that is.” A hopeful smile appeared on his face.

“What if I don’t want to keep it?” my voice was barely more than a whisper, so Peeta’s sharp intake of breath was clearly audible.

“Katniss… you can’t be serious? Are you serious?” A look of anger crossed his face and he let go of me. “For god’s sake, that’s a human being! A human being inside you!”

“You’re right Peeta, in MY body! This is my choice, I’m the one who has to endure this for 9 another months. What about my future? YOUR future? I can’t do this.” This time when I motioned to go put on my shoes he did nothing to stop me.

When I was finally fully dressed I started making my way out the door. “My body, my choice. That’s all I’m gonna say for now.” I was already half way down the stairs but remembered something. “You know, I wasn’t even going to tell you. You just showed up too early!” I shouted to make sure he had really heard it.

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In the end I was really glad that I let Johanna drag me to the doctor, because now the whole thing didn’t seem that scary to me anymore and even though I meant what I had said to Peeta, I wasn’t that sure about going through with it now.

Apparently I was barely more than a month along so there was still some time to make my decision, but the longer I had it in my body, the more confused I got. With everything going on in my life, how could I handle yet another thing which I could mess up so easily? This child would depend on me, on the decisions I made in my life. And even though with both Johanna and Prim telling me that they would support any decision I might make, there was still Peeta to think of.

True, it was my body and it was also in my place to decide if I wanted to keep the baby, but Peeta was still the father and he had a right to voice his opinion. The look on his face when I told him that I might not want to keep it broke my heart. But every time I closed my eyes there he was: Gale. Standing in front of me and telling me what an awful person I was and that I could never be a good mother, because of how fucked up I was.

Every time I thought about keeping the baby I was reminded of all the things he had said to me and that made it impossible for me to keep it. He was right. I was fucked up and couldn’t do anything right. I mean, no person who was right in their mind had sex with someone and then didn’t talk to them for weeks. It was just plain awful.

After seemingly endless talks with my doctor and even a psychiatrist the date for the abortion was set, and even though it was what I wanted, with every day that passed I felt even worse about the whole situation.

One week prior the procedure I took one week off from work to spend some time with my sister, and Prim being Prim was as supportive as ever. Which doesn’t mean she didn’t try to convince me to keep the baby, she just made me talk about it a lot which really helped. The more I talked about it, the more I got certain that this was the right thing to do. I simply couldn’t bear not being able to give my child the future he or she deserved.

I didn’t know what made me do it, but the day before I finally decided to text Peeta.

**11:24pm Katniss:** I’m gonna do it tomorrow, just wanted to let you know.

**11:57pm Katniss:** And I’m sorry you had to meet me. I wish I wouldn’t be that fucked up. I wish I could be the carefree girl you expected me to be.

I was still awake by 3am in the morning and there was still no answer from Peeta. Although I had hoped that he would say something- anything, it came as no surprise that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore after everything I had put him through.

By around 7 in the morning Johanna finally woke me up from my restless sleep and told me to get ready. I could see the look on her face, but I was still glad that at least one person was here to go through this day with me.

I was just about to brush my teeth when Jo’s voice reached my ear. “You don’t have to go through with it, you know. It’s not too late to back out now.”

I just shot a frown in her direction. “Seriously? Even Peeta didn’t reply to my texts anymore, I guess it’s safe to say that he doesn’t care. And you know I can’t do this, not after what Gale-“

She immediately cut me off. “FUCK HIM! Seriously Katniss, that guy is the definition of an asshole. He abused you, mentally and physically and you still believe a word he said?” Tears started streaming down her face. “You are a wonderful person, I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. You know how much you mean to me. You are my best friend, for god’s sake!”

I couldn’t do anything else than stare at her through the reflection of the mirror. “I’m gonna get ready. If you don’t want to drive me to the hospital anymore, I understand. I could just call a taxi or something.”

Only a few seconds later I could feel a pair of arms sneaking around my waist. “No, you stupid ass. Never would I make you go through this alone.” I turned around and threw my arms around her neck to press her closer to me. “Jo, I love you. But I’ve got to do this, alright?”

She nodded faintly and untangled herself from me. “At least you tried to tell Peeta.” She gave me a strange look but I instantly dismissed it and went back to getting dressed.

“Wait for me in the car?” I gave her an uncertain smile but she just nodded and grabbed her keys. “Of course.”

Not even 10 minutes later we were finally on the road and on our way to the clinic. During the whole ride the car was filled with silence and I was grateful for it. I didn’t need to feel any guiltier than I already was.

When we arrived, I got out of the car and left Jo behind to find a parking lot since there wasn’t much time left until my appointment, but before entering the building I looked behind me one more time.

It was almost foolish of me to think that Peeta would be here to support me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Don't hate me! Trust me, I've got it all planned out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello. Look who's back, and sooner than anyone expected. I just wanted to update really quick before my holidays end, because I don't know how much time I'll have when school starts again.   
> As always, your comments and advises are immensely appreciated and I'm thankful for every single one of my readers. Happy reading! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

 

 

**Peeta’s pov**

“Has Katniss Everdeen already checked it?” After my phone call with Johanna I immediately got into my car to make my way to the clinic as soon as possible.

I mentally cursed myself for not taking my charger with me to my parent’s house, because thanks to that I haven’t been able to read Katniss’ messages until I arrived at home and had finally access to it again. My first instinct was to call her, but quickly after that I realized that there was no chance in hell that she would tell me at which clinic she would stay at so I opted to call Johanna.

And it was surprisingly easy to get the information I wanted from her. So now here I was, frantically trying to get to Katniss in time to beware her from what could be the biggest mistake of her life.

“Please,” I could already feel the tears filling my eyes “I’ve got to see her. She’s my fiancé!” The lie went over my lips way too easily, but it was my only chance to see her.

The nurse at the front desk just shook her head at me. “Please, sir. I’ll need you to leave the building or wait until she’s released. There is no way I can let you-“

“Haven’t you heard what I said?” I waved my hand in front of her face, only to realize that it made me look like a completely idiot. “We had a terrible, terrible fight and I need to talk to her. Do you want to be responsible for what might happen if I don’t get the chance to do so?”

A panicked expression appeared on her face, but she still wouldn’t budge. Just as I was about to start begging again, another person burst through the entrance doors. “Peeta! Finally!” Never in my life have I been that relieved to see Johanna Mason. “What are you waiting for?” She grabbed my hand and started dragging me through a pair of doors which lead into the inner part of the hospitals.

The tension in Johanna’s voice was clearly audible. “Room 204. You’ve got approximately half an hour until she’s supposed to get her anesthesia shot.” And with that she practically shoved me through the room’s door and slumped down on a stool in front of it.

When I entered the room I saw Katniss sitting on a hospital bed with her back facing my in direction. I started making my way over to her side and even though I was by no means silent, she didn’t seem to notice me until I was standing directly in front of her.

It broke my heart to see the way she flinched when I put a hand on her shoulder. “Katniss…” She finally looked up at me and her eyes were filled with tears which were threatening to spill over.

I instantly wrapped my arms around her and an ugly sob escaped her. While running my hand soothingly up and down her spine I could feel the way she started relaxing a bit against my body.

After she had finally calmed down I slightly pulled away from her, but never let go of her completely. “Please, don’t do this. Leave with me. Please Katniss.”

She didn’t say anything, but instead just kept on staring at me blankly. “Come home with me, Katniss.” I begged again.

“Home?” A pained smile appeared on her face.

I took both of her hands in mine and placed a kiss on her forehead before I began to speak. “Home. I don’t care where it is. We can build our own home, you know? You, me and the baby. And I don’t care if anyone tells us that this is way too soon, or that we don’t even know each other that well. If there’s anything I’m certain of it is that I have never met a person before which had that great of an impact on me. And this baby, I don’t know a thing about it but I love it already. I’m sure you have thought about doing this for a long time, but in my heart I know that I wouldn’t be the only one who would regret it if you would actually go through with this today.”

Another tear started making its way down her cheek and I immediately brushed it away.

After what seemed like an eternity she finally found her voice again. “Peeta, you mean so much to me.” My face broke out into a huge smile. “But you don’t know anything about me. You have no idea what I had to go through in the past, I’m a mess. I’m a fucked up human being and an asshole. I’m so selfish. I can’t bring a child into this so called life of mine. It wouldn’t be responsible…”

Anger started cursing through me. “Katniss Everdeen, you listen to me now.” I said, “You are none of these things, you are wonderful and I’m willing to do anything to proof it to you. And no, I don’t know what you had to endure in your past, but this is the present and you can’t let the past determine your whole future. I’ll be with you on every step you are going to take, you aren’t going to get rid of me.”

Suddenly we were interrupted by a bunch of doctors which entered her room and once again I started to panic. What if she didn’t care about what I said? I had no idea if I could stand it if she would go through with the abortion.

Just as one of the doctors asked her to change into the hospital gown she started shaking her head furiously.

“Miss Everdeen?” one of the doctors said worriedly.

“No.” her voice was as hard as steel. “No I won’t. And do you want to know why? Because I’m going to keep this baby and I’m going to get through this. With this wonderful man at my side.“ She then looked at me so lovingly that my heart took a leap.

“Are you serious?” my voice was barely more than a whisper.

Katniss nodded shyly and I immediately wrapped my arms around her. Tears of joy started making their way down my cheeks and when I leaned down to kiss her, they got mixed up with hers. “Do you have any idea how happy you just made me?” The only answer I got from her was a half sob half laugh and I just slanted my lips over hers again instead of responding.

“Let’s get out of here. Let’s go _home._ ”

Leaving didn’t turn out to be as easy as we expected. After filling out endless paper works and another hour long discussion with the doctor we were finally allowed to leave and I was grateful for it. Katniss looked extremely exhausted and even Jo and I had already seen better days. We quickly decided to all head back to their apartment, because nobody wanted to mope around alone for the rest of the day.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Johanna said just as we entered the living room.

“I’m pretty much open for anything, what do you say?” I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at Katniss, but she just ignored me and kept on walking into her bedroom’s direction. I shot an apologetic look into Jo’s direction and quickly hurried after Katniss into her room.

When I entered, she was already sitting on her bed and pulling off her jeans and socks, but seemed to have troubles doing so. I sat down beside her and laid my hands on her shoulder. “Nap?” I asked as I helped her get out of her clothes completely.

She just gave me a grateful smile and I made my way over to her dresser to search for something more comfortable for her to sleep in. After she got dressed and I got rid of my hoodie, undershirt and shoes we both laid down beside each other and snuggled under the covers. Her head was on my chest and one of my hands was comfortably resting against her stomach.

“You’re going to be a great mother, I know it.” I said and placed a kiss on her forehead before she finally started drifting off.

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It was just starting to get dark outside when Katniss and I finally woke up from our nap, which had actually turned out to be 4 hour long. Jo was still on the couch, but she too looked like she had fallen asleep at some point during the movie marathon she was currently indulged in.

“Care for some soup? You guys don’t seem to have anything else and I’m not up to going out to the grocery store.” I asked while rummaging through their refrigerator.

“Yes, god I’m starving! And we should have some bread somewhere, at least that’s what I remember seeing yesterday.” Her words caused a small smile to appear on my lips.

I was glad that Katniss had someone like Johanna by her side through all of this. Even though she appeared to be really harsh and angry, as soon as you got to know her better you couldn’t help but like her. And she was the one who took care of Katniss during all those weeks I couldn’t be there for her.

While the soup was heating up on the stove, I decided to put the bread into the oven, to make it at least a little more edible, when I suddenly felt a pair of two small arms sneaking around my waist.

It would take me some time to finally realize that Katniss was now ready to show me any signs of affection outside of the bedroom, but for now I relaxed against her. She pressed her body closer to mine and buried her nose between my shoulder blades. We remained like that for a few minutes until I finally turned around to envelop her into my arms. “Finally up, sleepyhead?”

She nodded against the crook of my neck and a small shudder ran down my spine. It was true, it were the worst circumstances which brought us to this point in our life, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. 

“Soup?” I asked when we finally managed to pull away from each other. She nodded and made her way over to the sink, filling one of the glasses with water. It was just then that I noticed that she decided to put on my hoodie which I had discarded earlier. A huge smile appeared on my face. “Nice look” I said and a blush crept on her face. She was simply gorgeous. “It looks better on you anyway, eh.”

I went over to her, placed both my hands on her cheeks and leaned my forehead against hers. The distinct smell of pine needles and flowers filled my nose and made my stomach flatter. My eyes flickered down to her mouth and I hoped she would understand this as my way of asking her for permission to kiss her and only seconds later her lips were on mine and a small sigh escaped the back of her throat.

I tilted my head to the side to deepen the kiss, but suddenly our make out session was interrupted by Jo clearing her throat loudly beside us. Katniss didn’t seem to notice her so I just opted to ignore her too, but after a few more seconds we finally pulled away from each other. As soon as Katniss noticed Jo’s presence a deep blush overtook her face, but she made no move to step away from me and a smile appeared on my face.

I placed one last kiss on her lips and went over to put the bread out of the oven and into a by standing basket. “You wouldn’t mind taking this to the living room, would you?” I thrust the basked into Jo’s direction with a dashing smile on my lips and she sighed. “No, of course not.” And with that she was off and I was immediately at Katniss’ side again. “So where were we?”

I was glad to see that Katniss was finally in a better mood after all those weeks. Even though I hadn’t been able to be around, Jo had kept me up to date on her activities and feelings and it pained me not to be able to do anything for her, but I knew that I had to give her space. But now, with her on the couch cuddled up against me, I couldn’t help but pull her even closer to me. I was determined not to let go of her anytime soon, no matter what it would take to keep her.

After eating, it didn’t take long for Katniss to fall asleep again but I felt way too awake and apparently so did Johanna. After a long period of silence between the two of us, she finally found her voice. “You’re not going to just leave one day, are you?”

My eyebrows shot up in confusion. “Do you think I would have done this today if I was planning on leaving?” I asked.

She sighed and kept on staring at the television. “I guess not. I just… I can’t get the image of her broken shell out of my head. Gale wasn’t that bad in the beginning either, I guess I just can’t trust anyone that quickly anymore.”

Confusion surged through me, but at least she finally looked at me. “Gale?”

“Yeah, her ex-boyfriend.” She said and I remained silent, willing her to go on but she shook her head stubbornly. “Nope, no chance blondie. You gotta ask her yourself.”

A sad smile appeared on my face, but when I looked down at Katniss who was still fast asleep in my arms it turned into a genuine one. “Thank you Jo, you’re a good friend too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up: The backstory to look forward too!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, welcome! I don't have much to say except that I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I know it's the one a lot of you have been waiting for, the reveal of her past! Let me know what you think and Happy Reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or any characters which are mentioned in my story, it all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.

 

**_Katniss’ pov_ **

I knew I had to tell him about Gale eventually, but every time I tried he did something so incredibly wonderful that I just couldn’t bear to burden him with my past. And I wasn’t blind or dumb, I knew that Johanna had told him something because once in a while I could feel him staring at me when he thought I wouldn’t notice.

Peeta had even persuaded me to take some time off work to figure everything out and by the end of the following week, somehow a bunch of his clothes and toiletries found their way into Jo’s and my apartment. But you wouldn’t see me complaining. I loved going to bed with him and waking up in his arms each morning and even though we hadn’t exactly defined our relationship yet, with each passing day we grew closer to each other.

And I noticed the change in Johanna’s behavior too. She didn’t look at me like I was some kind of wounded animal anymore, and I even caught her smiling at us once in a while.

“Would you be up to going out tonight?” Peeta asked while I was happily munching some cheese buns he had brought with him from the bakery. “I wanted you to meet some people. Finnick and Annie, I must have told them everything there is about you and they really want to meet you.” He looked at me expectantly with a huge smile on his face.

He had told them _everything_ about me. At the thought of that my face fell a little, but Peeta immediately picked up on it. “No, Katniss. They don’t think badly about you, I swear to god. They are really excited that I finally found someone like you,” he blushed slightly, “and it would mean a lot to me too. But if you don’t want I-“

Instead of letting him finish, I got up from my seat and plopped down in his lap. “Peeta, I would love to meet your friends. If we are going to do this, I wanna be a part of every facet in your life, okay?” I placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Really?” His eyes once again sparkled with excitement and he instantly wrapped his arms around me more tightly.

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkkpkpkpkpkp

I couldn’t stop fidgeting with the hem of my dress on our way to the bar until Peeta’s hand finally reached over to put a stop to it. “Stop being so nervous. You look wonderful and they are going to love you. They don’t have another option anyway.”

A small smile spread across my lips and I released a deep breath. “So let’s go over this once again. You went to art school with Annie and met Finnick…?” I mentally cursed myself for not remembering.

“I met Finnick at the bakery. He kind of saw me and demanded to be my friend, you’ll notice that he’s a pretty straight forward person really quickly, believe me.” He chuckled and squeezed my hand tightly.

“Ugh, I just really want them to like me. What if I totally embarrass myself in front of them, huh?” Suddenly, panic started rising up again in my chest and I felt incredibly stupid for agreeing to do this.

“Oh love, you have got to be a little positive once in your life.”

On the way into the bar I hung onto Peeta’s hand for dear life, not wanting to get lost in the crowd which had already formed inside the building. It was unusually full, even for a Friday night but I was still able to give Haymitch a quick wave while bypassing the bar. I had known Haymitch longer than anyone else in my life, except for my family, and even though neither of us would ever admit it now, there was a time in my life where I wouldn’t have survived wouldn’t it have been for this particular man.

Thanks to me calling Haymitch earlier in the day, there was still one booth left which wasn’t occupied by drunk people or couples making out like teenagers. “We’re early.” Peeta’s voice so close to my ear sent a shiver running down my spine and I gave him a grateful smile.

Seconds after sitting down, a waitress appeared on our side to take our orders and I eyed her suspiciously. Haymitch did not tell me that he had hired someone new, let alone someone that attractive. I must have been staring at her while Peeta ordered for the two of us because suddenly she was gone and two other people were standing in front of us.

Without a second thought Peeta immediately leaped up from his seat and threw his arms around a bronze haired man. He was typically handsome, and even I couldn’t deny that he was nice to look at, but as I watched Peeta’s biceps bulge when they hugged, another shiver ran down my spine and I had to clench my tights together uncomfortably.

Besides Finnick stood a not even slightly less beautiful girl, but the way she handled herself immediately made me smile. Without her having to say anything I instantly noticed that she was the complete opposite from her boyfriend.

After my three companions greeted each other properly, Peeta extended his hand into my direction, beckoning me to get up and join them. He wrapped his arm around my waist as soon as I took my place beside him and an even greater smile appeared on his face.

“Finnick, Annie that’s Katniss. My girlfriend.” We hadn’t talked about it yet, but the word caused butterflies to emerge in my stomach and I could feel myself blushing furiously.

Just as I was about to extend my hand, Annie pulled me into a bone crushing hug. Maybe she wasn’t as reserved as I had thought after all “I’m so glad we’re finally getting to meet you.” She let go of me and cast a quick glance at Peeta. “This guy right here hasn’t been able to shut up about you ever since you two have met.”

Before I had the chance to reply I was instantly pulled into another hug, this time by a pair of incredibly strong arms. “Peet definitely didn’t exaggerate when it comes to your beauty. You’re catch.” He winked at me after letting go.

“Uhm, it’s nice to meet you too. I’m glad Peeta finally decided to let me in this part of his life.” A very unlike Katniss giggle escaped me. 

The waitress, who had returned with our drinks, thankfully stopped Finnick from answering and I was glad to take it as an excuse to sit down again. After Annie and Finnick had ordered too, I opted sipping my soda and watching the others talk with each other animatedly. It made me smile to see how comfortable Peeta seemed in their company and it caused me to relax too.

“So Katniss, how is pregnancy treating you?” Annie’s question caught me off guard, because I had no idea he had already told them. Hell, we hadn’t even told our families yet. I looked at Peeta out of the corner of my eye, but he seemed to be way too emerged into his conversation with his friend to notice.

“Yeah, good. I mean I’m not that far along yet, but morning sickness and occasional mood swings suck.” I said and Annie gave me a sympatric smile and patted my hand. “Peeta’s friends are our friends, and since I’m expecting you two to stick together I just want you to know that you can turn to me if you need a lady friend to talk to.” She said and smiled.

“Thank you, that’s really good to know. I’m glad that he has friends like you two.”

Suddenly her expression turned serious before she said. “Peeta is like a brother to me and I wouldn’t want to see him get hurt. He has done a lot for me, things I’m not sure any friend would do, and I also owe him meeting the love of my life,” she briefly glance into Finnick’s direction and a blush crept on her face, “anyway, he’s a good guy and I know for a fact that you mean a lot to him, just keep that in mind okay?”

After that, the rest of our night was filled with pleasant conversation between the four of us and I had the chance to learn more about Peeta’s past. But as soon as I mentioned that I haven’t even got to meet his parents yet, something in the mood shifted and I decided to drop it for now. Particularly because I hadn’t told him about most parts of my life yet either.

At around 10pm the first yawn escaped me and Peeta chuckled at my lack of stamina. “I think we are gonna head out.” He told Annie and Finnick and even though I tried to assure him that I was okay with us staying for another hour, I found myself in his car not even 15 minutes later.

Leaning my head back against the headrest, I reached over the center console and laced my fingers through Peeta’s. “I had a good time,” another yawn escaped me, “and I really like them. They are good for you.”

Even though I kept my eyes closed, I could basically see the smile on his face. “I’m glad. And they really like you too. Finnick even told me he would have to rethink our friendship if I was to hurt you.”

I was way too tired to answer so I just squeezed his hand before drifting off.

I didn’t wake up again until we were already back at the apartment and Peeta tried his best to get me out of my clothes without waking me up.

“Hmm, you could have just told me you wanted to get me naked, you know.” I said.

Peeta’s face immediately turned bright red while he was still trying to get my dress over my head. “Mind helping me? If you do, you can go to sleep faster than with just lying there and watching me struggle.”

I chuckled and sat up so he had a better chance at succeeding.

Five minutes later, when I was finally changed into some pajamas and Peeta too, he climbed into bed with me and I instantly snuggled against his chest, embracing the warmth which was radiating off his naked chest.

“Good night beautiful” Peeta whispered and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp

The next morning, I found myself waking up to an empty bed and I groaned involuntarily. Since it was a Sunday, I had hoped to sneak in some late morning cuddles with Peeta, but when I heard the shower in my bathroom running, a sly smile crept on my face.

Trying to make as little noise as possible I got out of bed and made my way into the bathroom, careful to fully close the door behind me. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I sighed, but still kept on undressing since I knew Peeta wouldn’t care about my messy hair and the circles under my eyes.

A smile appeared on my face when I silently opened the shower door and stepped inside. Peeta seemed to be so emerged in his thoughts that he didn’t notice me and I took some time to admire his appearance in front of me.

His body was delicious, and the water running down his naked body caused heat to pool in between my legs. I couldn’t stand it any longer so I took one step forward and sneaked my arms around his waist. A surprised yelp escaped him, but as soon as he noticed who it was his body seemed to relax against me and I pressed my body even closer against his and placed a kiss between his shoulder blades.

I could feel the shiver which ran down his spine and smiled. “Good morning handsome, what made you think you could get started without me?”

He chuckled, turned around and without answering slanted his mouth over mine. A groan escaped the back of my throat and I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, begging entrance into his mouth. Peeta eagerly opened it and I let my tongue explore the roof of his mouth. I slung one hand around his neck to burry my fingers into his hair, while I let the other one make its way down his body and to his hard member. But just as I was about to wrap my hand around it, he suddenly pulled away and put distance between us.

“God dammit, you’re killing me right now do you know that?” He said and I smiled and took another step into his direction, but he shook his head at me. “But we can’t. Not now, not like this. Not when we haven’t talked about what happened the first time we tried to do this. I know it wasn’t my proudest moment when I let it happened that time in my apartment, but I want to do things right from now on. Okay?”

My face fell but I knew that he was right and that we had to talk, but who was he to get me that turned on just to say no in the end? “Good.” I huffed and turned around to get out of the shower, but he swiftly caught my elbow to keep me in place. “I’m sorry for leading you on and I promise I will make it up to you. But at the right time.”

After our shower I put on one of his hoodies and made my way into the kitchen, determined to get some food into my system before having to face our talk. But before I could open the fridge, a bright pink post it on our table caught my attention.

_Helping out Haymitch. Enjoy the alone time with blondie ;) – Jo_

A sigh escaped my lips, now I wouldn’t even have Johanna to back me up if things got ugly with Peeta. But as soon as the thought formed in my head, I mentally cursed myself for it. How could I think that Peeta would be anything but understanding for what I was about to tell him?

I decided to grab two cups of coffee and some leftover cheese buns to bring back into my bedroom where Peeta was already waiting for me.

He smiled at me when I entered the room and I took in his appearance. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, almost like he wanted to torture and distract me.

“You wanna get comfortable before we do this? I’ve got the feeling we are in for a long day.” He said and gave me such a sweet smile that I could feel the butterflies in my stomach once again. And as nervous as I was about this whole thing, I was also glad to be finally sharing this with him and let him in my life completely.

I sat down on the bed, gave him one cup of coffee and a cheese bun, and pulled the covers over my naked legs. I had just opened my mouth to talk when he stopped me once again. “Before you start,” he took my hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze, “I want you to know that I won’t judge you for it okay?”

A wave of relief washed over me and I gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you Peeta.” I took a sip of my coffee before asking. “I guess I should get started with who Gale is, huh?” He nodded, but didn’t say anything else.

“Well, Gale and I grew up together. He was my neighbor, we went to school together and although he was like two years older than me we grew up to be best friends. I didn’t have many friends growing up, expect for him, my sister and later on Johanna. When he graduated, he moved away to train for the marines, but he soon enough realized that it wasn’t the right thing for him so he moved back and started working at our local sports store. I was happy when he came home, happy that I had my best friend back, but I soon realized that his intentions where different this time around. He asked me out on a date and even though I was surprised I agreed, because what would be the harm, right?” A sarcastic chuckle escaped me and I could feel myself starting to tremble lightly. Peeta noticed too and took both of my hands in his.

“Anyway, we went on a date and one date turned into three and after less than a month we had started dating. Nobody was surprised, they had all expected us to end up with each other eventually since we had been basically inseparably since we were younger. But after like half a year he became strange. He often would insult me when he was drunk, or call me not so nice names when he had sex.” Peeta flinched beside me and I gave him an apologetically look. “And then one day, when I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him he… uh, he forced himself on me. At that time I didn’t think really much of it because I thought it was normal for men to have… urges like that, I guess.” By now the first tear had started making its way down my cheek and Peeta reached over to wipe it away.

“I didn’t talk to anyone about it for a few months, but with every day it got worse. It started out with him calling me names, even though I had told him that I wasn’t comfortable with it, but eventually he got aggressive too. The first time he slapped me I freaked out.” I was full on crying by now, but I knew it had to get it all out. “I freaked out and it only made it so much worse. I eventually talked to Johanna and she too freaked out and urged me to stay with her. But of course Gale found out and showed up at her apartment with flowers and a flawless apology on his lips. And I was stupid, so stupid to believe it when he said that he was sorry and that he was going to change. I went home with him and for one week everything was fine, I was even happy. But then he started again, but this time around it was so much worse. He started hitting me, even when we didn’t have sex and it eventually got difficult for me to hide the bruises before my boss and friends.”

I broke off and looked at Peeta. Until now, I hadn’t noticed but there were tears streaming down his face too, which only made me cry even harder. I scooted over so that I was practically sitting in his lap and threw my arms around his head, burying my face in the crook of his neck. For a few minutes we remained like that, but he eventually pulled away and took my face into his hands.

We kept on staring at each other and suddenly he started placing kisses all over my face. My cheeks, my forehead, my nose and even my eyelids, every naked patch of skin he was able to find. After a few minutes of silence he finally found his voice. “I’m so sorry Katniss. So incredibly sorry. I wish I could take all the pain away from you.” A loud sob escaped his lips and he looked at me apologetically. “But I’m here now, and I swear to you I would never take advantage of you like that. You are safe with me. You and our baby, oh Katniss, I swear to god.”

I threw my arms around his neck once again.

“I love you, Peeta.” I whispered so quietly I wasn’t sure Peeta would be able to catch it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and come find me on Tumblr if you want! I'm dazzlingjosh!


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